Oh, Steve. You are one fucking funny motherfucker.
I painted my front door with gloss and it looks like a spacker has drunk green paint and licked my door to put the paint on. I now had to get a painter and decorator in to sand it down and start again. I made him a coffee. I painted my fence and this was a great success.
Hey, man. Maybe you could come round and help? We could paint the rest of the fence and drink coffee and eat crisps (hahhahaah). We could then sip some wine on my new chairs (when I buy them) admiring our work.
I'm so tired, bro. I'm going to put some comfy clothes on and watch a film. I have a Twix in my cupboard, and, in a little while, I'm going to go to town on that byyyaatch.