Annoying Twats on Trains


Toxic White Male
May 8, 2013
In a deplorable basket
I loathe all forms of public transport because, by definition, it has the biggest cunts on the planet on it - i.e., the fucking public.

I especially hate those shitcunts who put their feet on seats in front of them and those fucking bastards who stick their bag on the seat next to them. They will then sit there, ignoring the fact the available seats are diminishing in numbers and get all huffy if someone actually has the nerve to ask them to move their fucking bag.


Freedom Fighter
May 14, 2013
Castle Duckula.
I was hungover on a packed train before. It was hot, rammed, noisy and there were teenagers spraying lynx Africa in the carriage. Then Michael Portillo and his film crew came on filming their shit trains TV show.

I was all "FUCK THIS" and jumped off at the next stop. I didn't realise the next train wasn't going to be for about 3 hours.

So yeah, Michael Portillo, number 1 train wanker.

That Michael Portillo train show is quite good. I cant stand trains or blokes like him, but its a nice easy watch with a load of good interesting info.
Likes: Trail
Jun 5, 2013
I get the train to work and back everyday and everything about them sickens me.

Fat, loud women telling their equally fat mate how Dave and Phil were texting them filth last night but they’re not interested, as if they’re remotely desirable.

Rude, incompetent staff members who look repulsed you don’t have a ticket due to the equally incompetent ticket machine not working.

Trains being cancelled last minute due to a shortage of drivers. What the fuck is this? Has John just decided he’s clocking off earlier or couldn’t you have given us more notice?

People who put their bags on the seat despite people standing up and then tutting because you’ve had the sheer audacity to ask them to move it.

People with colds slobbering all over you and passing their fucking aids onto you.

The fares are absolutely fucking ridiculous considering how unreliable and generally shit they are in this country.
Jun 17, 2012
Despite being a regular commuter, I can say much here has resonated with me. Gripe wise, the typical annoyances are

i)The twat that has passive aggressive left their handbag on the seat next to them.
ii) Playing music overly loud on headphones, subjecting everyone else stood near to it.
iii) The jostlers/pusher inners
iv) The dozy idiot who is several seconds later then everyone else getting off, meaning the large crowd waiting to gt on has to wait a little longer.

For the (usually female) twats who leave their bags on the seat next to them, I will typically stand close and stare at them till they get the picture and shift it, or make sure to ask in a particularly blunt and ungrateful tone for them to move it.
Likes: mike_bngs

DB Cooper

peel me a grape
May 17, 2013
Rarely get public transport. If I do, I just put the earphones straight in and ignore everyone. Unless a good looking chick gets in. Then I start multi-tasking with some sly perving.
Likes: Trail
May 22, 2013
You know what fucks me off about women on trains though. When they buy a pack of sandwiches and proceed to take 3 hours to eat the fuckers. Tearing wee tiny pieces off and nibbling away like gerbils, packaging rustling noisily away every time they put their dainty wee fingers in.

I do everything possible to escape from people and the situation around me when I’m packed onto a train or plane. Headphones, blinkers, blindfolds, burqa anything.
What shits me is women who think they are owed a seat just because they are female!
Them days are gone! you want equality well you can stand like I have to when there is no seats available!

few weeks back I was on the train and some old lady behind me patted me on the shoulder? I looked over and was about to offer her the seat (I'll get up for old people). but she just pointed to a regular girl who was like I dont know somehwere in her 20's or 30's. Not old enough to deserve the seat without being up the duff or injured. so i just put my headphones back in and went back to scrolling through instagram. Next second.. pat again and a double point to the lady.
This time I turned and told her no, she isn't pregnant or injured, no need to get up.
The look of disgust on the old ladies face was brilliant!! after scoffing at me she turned to another bloke nearby, he acted as if he didnt see or hear anything. For a moment I thought we were going to get some glorious meninism and mens rights action going! Until some d bag had to be a hero and made a big thnig about getting up and offering the seat.
To which the girl took without even saying thankyou.

fucking women


Error 503 Serice Temporarily Unavailable
Jun 4, 2013
Oh Jesus. Thank fuck I don't have to deal with public transportation. The last time I did (took the bus to jury duty) I got laughed at by the local bus riders cause I sat in Pete's seat.

Pete apparently pees in his seat.
I'm wary of taking a seat on a bus, I think it happens quite a lot...

We have a woman in town who hangs around petrol stations, and when people go to pay for their petrol, she'll get into the car. When the person gets back, she'll ask to be driven somewhere, and at some point will piss in the seat. I always lock my car when paying for petrol.
Likes: cat_funt
Jun 6, 2013
I commute 4 days a week from Dundee to Edinburgh, have done for years. I am one of those bags on seats people (I will keep an eye on available seats and move the bag before someone has to ask me though).

I fucking hate people and don’t want some smelly fuck sitting next to me for 2 hours. If I see someone moving towards the seat next to me internally I want them to drop dead.

To redeem myself I did give my seat to a Nun as where she was sitting had very little leg room.
Likes: mike_bngs
Jun 3, 2012
People stopping dead on the spot to check their phone/tickets once through the barriers.

Gail platt from Corrie did it on the 7pm from Euston to Manchester last week and I ran into her.

Pretty sure she was baiting me.
Likes: Trail


complete and utter prick
Jun 11, 2013
'Straya, cunt.
I like my train ride - music, radio, book , phone, think, look at's all good man. Time to myself.
Gotta say, I much prefer to catch the train in to the city here than drive. If I have extended work on a city building site then I drive in for a couple of days, leave all my tools in there in a lock box and train it in until the last couple of days, certainly better to sit and relax, read the paper, browse the Internet etc. than drive an hour in traffic. $9 in train fairs are better than roughly the same in petrol plus about $20 in parking plus wear and tear on the car.
May 16, 2013
It's got to be the cunts that are sat in the seat you have paid for and reserved, then act like you are trying to steal something from them if you dare ask them to move.

Then you have the cunts that stand in the aisle because they are too chicken shit to move the person sat in their seat.

I also hate unhygienic women on packed tube trains who leave you with smelly fingers after you have stealthily grabbed them by the pussy.
- which I suppose is the true definition of an annoying twat on a train.


R.I.P. Joe Rein
May 24, 2013
People stopping dead on the spot to check their phone/tickets once through the barriers.

Gail platt from Corrie did it on the 7pm from Euston to Manchester last week and I ran into her.

Pretty sure she was baiting me.
I saw Gail Platt on Manchester Piccadilly after a flight back from the Netherlands. She looks like a horse.