Any fans of strip clubs? Any stories?

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
36,797
13,552
As related in another thread, I hung out in a strip club for the first time last weekend. A classier type club. Early Sunday evening. Just me, my lady and 8-10 bored strippers sitting on their phones and every so often one of them would come up to chat with us for a bit. :lol: We basically watched their warmups.

Was weird, but fun. Would recommend. :lol: But I suspect some posters here have much better strip club stories than I do. So let's hear them! Or just chime in with some thoughts on strip clubs in general, whether they're good or crap. :thumbsup

:hat
 

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
36,797
13,552
What are stripper warm ups?
Just lazy routines, basically. At least, that's what one of them told us. "You've basically caught us warming up." Literally we were the only two non-employees in the place. They hardly even hassled us for tips. :conf

:hat
 
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Clarence Worley

leaner than mandy...
Nov 19, 2018
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Siberia
In Gdańsk Poland I was harassed by these fuckers every time I walked up the Main Street....eventually I snapped and said I will take the free drink then and just leave. I did exactly that and they still wanted to kick off at me
 
Jul 29, 2014
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1,196
UK
I was in Tenerife with a couple of mates, one lad had hit it to heavy during the day so decided to stay in that evening so me and the other lad went out.. Every night the bars/and club reps all hassle you to try and get you in. It gets really fucking annoying. So me and my mate decided we'd just walk down the strip and go in the first place that didn't hassle us to come in. Half way down the strip and unsurprisingly nowhere has let us walked by without trying to get us to come in. We were walking passed the strip club and the girls outside whose job it was to get you in started trying to pull us in etc... I had a chat with her and basically said, we want a quiet drink and can't be fucked with anyone trying to get us to dance or any of that shit, not in the mood for it today kind of thing. The bird promised she would have a chat with all the girls and let them know that we weren't interested in a dance and just wanted to have a few drinks.

Reluctantly we went inside, got a drink and within 2 minutes we had 2 birds come over trying to butter us up for a dance. I flat out told them we weren't interested and to go chat to the women at the front who promised we wouldn't be harassed. 3 minutes later they came back and apologised and got us a free shot. We sat there chatting to the bartender for ages, a nice girl who just kept giving us free drinks. At first I thought they were just hoping to get us a bit more pissed in hope we would start paying out for dances. So I made it clear as well that I appreciated the free drinks but still wouldn't be paying for a dance.

Later on the owner came in and it turned out he lived in a small town just 20 minutes away from where I live. The free drinks kept flowing, then we were allowed to start choosing all the tunes for the birds to dance to as well. So we were sitting at the bar, getting free drinks, picking every tune whilst watching the women on the poles. A pretty decent evening in the end!

The next day our mate who stayed at hotel was rejuvenated. ready for a big session, fresh and raring to go get fucking mortal. After a load of afternoon beers, day time turned to night time and our mate started getting a bit jealous of us getting a tonne of free drinks whilst gawping at the strippers the night before so made us take him there. He was pretty pissed by this time. We walked in and were greeted by our new 'friends'. More free drinks, life was good. So the lad who missed last night decided to go straight for a dance. He managed to pursuade two of them to give him a private dance for 20 euros. Pretty cheap for a strip club in a holiday destination like that. They normally charge you a fucking fortune.

So a little while later out walks our mate, staggering. The fat bastard had his shirt off and clearly wasn't happy. The music was quiet and the place was half full. the next thing you could hear was someone shouting 'That was fucking shit! Didn't even get a boner'. The cunt walked straight over to us and started talking about how shit his dance was with 2 birds for twenty euros. Not quite sure what he was expecting. He then proceeded to interupt the conversation me and my other mate were having with the owner to tell him how shit it was. The owner at this point wanting him to be quiet said okay, let me go look at the CCTV. He came back 5 minutes later with one of his 'more experienced' dancers and they went off into a private booth. When he came out he looked happier than a dog with 2 dicks. By this point we were embarrassed by him, he was happy so we fucked off to a club.

He is the first and only person I have ever known to complain about the quality of a dance in a strip club.
 
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Jun 14, 2012
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Only been to one once when I was in Newcastle a couple of years ago. Was alright. Couple of the birds were fit as fuck but it gets incredibly annoying when they keep coming over.
 
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May 21, 2013
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As related in another thread, I hung out in a strip club for the first time last weekend. A classier type club. Early Sunday evening. Just me, my lady and 8-10 bored strippers sitting on their phones and every so often one of them would come up to chat with us for a bit. :lol: We basically watched their warmups.

Was weird, but fun. Would recommend. :lol: But I suspect some posters here have much better strip club stories than I do. So let's hear them! Or just chime in with some thoughts on strip clubs in general, whether they're good or crap. :thumbsup

:hat
I try to only ever go to strip clubs with women - the strippers love it and the so does the woman I take with me

Our nearest bar to my office was run by Polish and all the girls were amazing Eastern European types - my buddies used to call it the "embassy" or "promises" after the films "Eastern Promises"

They used to open at 4pm on Thursdays and Fridays so I would take my sales staff down there to drink, we got to know management and half the girls really well - in fact a couple of the strippers and female bartenders are still facebook friends with me

I think I posted a story about my buddy Farley going to a sketchy strip club in Long Island City with a bunch of the NYC skate industry friends, it was a sunday night and they were the only ones in there - they couldn't believe how friendly and hands on all the girls were rubbing em up and down during their lap dances

After they left the club they all realized their cell phones had been jacked they turned to go back in and a massive bouncer stopped them telling them it would be another $20 each to "re-enter" the club ha ha

They all coughed up basically just to get their phones back (all their contacts in there etc)

Farley who is a house painter still uses a flip phone - he was like "basically you want me to pay $20 to get my phone back?"

he picked up the metal stand that holds the velvet rope up twirled it and smashed it through their front windows and ran off

Basically any night out with Farley ends in complete chaos
 

McGrain

Diamond Dog
Jul 6, 2012
7,751
3,767
As related in another thread, I hung out in a strip club for the first time last weekend. A classier type club. Early Sunday evening. Just me, my lady and 8-10 bored strippers sitting on their phones and every so often one of them would come up to chat with us for a bit. :lol: We basically watched their warmups.

Was weird, but fun. Would recommend. :lol: But I suspect some posters here have much better strip club stories than I do. So let's hear them! Or just chime in with some thoughts on strip clubs in general, whether they're good or crap. :thumbsup

:hat
What's that place called?

I feel a little intimidated tbh, it's pretty fucked up. I've been with dudes who really know their way around, and the key seems to be to put them at their ease, which your Mrs. seems to have achieved automatically with her presence. It's sad, but it's true, now i'm too old for clubs i probably end up in strip clubs too often tbh.
 
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mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
23,461
10,584
Scotland
First time I was in a strippers here I was in myself waiting on a mate so some stripper seen a victim and came over to me. Heard my accent so assumed I was a tourist, which I played on. Telt her it was my first time in a strippers. We got on to talking about her fake diddies and I mentioned that I'd never felt a fake diddy before. She took my hands and put them straight on there. Magic. So then I told her I'd never felt a fanny before. She was not quite as accommodating though :(
 

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
36,797
13,552
What's that place called?

I feel a little intimidated tbh, it's pretty fucked up. I've been with dudes who really know their way around, and the key seems to be to put them at their ease, which your Mrs. seems to have achieved automatically with her presence. It's sad, but it's true, now i'm too old for clubs i probably end up in strip clubs too often tbh.
Yeah my missus is pretty kind and nonjudgemental type, so the strippers were really friendly. We told them we were strip club virgins and had no idea what we were doing, and they thought that was cute. Tipped everyone who danced, (small tip), complimented and thanked them, apologised for not being richer. And every time one of them approached us at the end of her dance, I would laugh and do the old two-hand point at the missus:



and the stripper would go right to her and she'd tuck a couple of bucks into the G-string, or get some boobs in her face or whatever. Let it be known early on that we weren't looking for lapdances, and we never felt hassled. They'd dance, chat with us for a bit, then go back to the booths on the other side of the stage and chat with each other or play on their phones.

Definitely felt that they liked me a lot better for being there with a woman. Plus I treated them normal, like we were just chatting to a regular stranger who wasn't standing there with her tits out. :lol: And I'm not a seedy creepy guy, nor am I particularly shy or self-conscious. Definitely let the missus drive the interactions, though. Was a good time.

Oh and the place is called Calendar Girls. :lol: :thumbsup

:hat
 

WaltzingMatilda

BANNED AGAIN
Nov 29, 2015
1,933
667
As related in another thread, I hung out in a strip club for the first time last weekend. A classier type club. Early Sunday evening. Just me, my lady and 8-10 bored strippers sitting on their phones and every so often one of them would come up to chat with us for a bit. :lol: We basically watched their warmups.

Was weird, but fun. Would recommend. :lol: But I suspect some posters here have much better strip club stories than I do. So let's hear them! Or just chime in with some thoughts on strip clubs in general, whether they're good or crap. :thumbsup

:hat



I don’t wish to titillate you, I suspect you’ll make them your own stories
read a book instead if you want inspiration
 

WaltzingMatilda

BANNED AGAIN
Nov 29, 2015
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Ohhhhh ok


kings cross Sydney in the 80s was rather wild & fucked up
picture a street lined with fucking ”strip clubs” & pubs & dingy bars
places with names like “the love machine” & “playgirls” completely run by shady underworld types with the kind of bouncers that you didn’t even want to look at the wrong way, the Cross was an evil place, it’s been cleaned up somewhat with restrictions etc
but thesestrip clubs were full of young blokes on bucks nights etc they were full of dirty, skanky, heroin riddled prostitutes that would make their way through the crowd & try & get young, drunk horny blokes to go ”upstairs” or out the back etc
The dancers were usually equally as skanky & drug addled & would, at some ungodly hour drag some drunk young buck onto the stage & attempt to fuck him right there in front of his mates & everyone else, to great hilarity from everyone, strippers would also glide through the seated section shoving their disease riddled quims in punters faces, where drunk desperados would stick their tongues out & take a slurp, something an old mate/ acquaintance never did live down

It was so fucking seedy, the whole place, many a young man lost his way in Kings Cross, many a traveller, backpacker has sordid stories to tell, it was a cunt of a place
fuck I miss it all :lol::hammertime
 
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NSFW

Freedom Fighter
May 14, 2013
23,148
11,793
Castle Duckula.
Just lazy routines, basically. At least, that's what one of them told us. "You've basically caught us warming up." Literally we were the only two non-employees in the place. They hardly even hassled us for tips. :conf

:hat

Lazy strip routines fills me with sadness.
 

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
36,797
13,552
Lazy strip routines fills me with sadness.
:lol:

This wasn't so bad. They knew that everybody was getting five bucks regardless and that was all the money that was available to them in the entire club. :lol:

Some were more enthusiastic than others though, of course. One of them straight up eye-fucked the shit out of both of us from start to finish and that was a little uncomfortable, as she was hot as hell (looked like Tori Black), but also had by far the hardest vibe of any of them. Most of them were flat out nice though, and seemed basically like regular girls, which was a bit shocking to me.

:hat
 
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Jul 6, 2019
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I have had three, brief, relationships with three strippers. Two were lap dancers, one was an old school stripper that you booked for parties and stuff. All years ago in my early to mid twenties.

One was Scottish, one English, and the other from somewhere in Africa.

Scottish girl was wild, very easy, tattooed and pierced everywhere. Went back to hers the first night, and was in the process of having seconds in the morning when her teenage brother walked in, saw us, and shouted "not again you whore".

English girl was normal, but binned me off quite quickly.

Girl from Africa was a coke fiend and a total nightmare. She also thought I had more money than I did and wanted me to pay for everything. I dumped her sharpish. She ended up going with at least three guys I knew, including a work colleague, and a good mate.
 
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Don't have any particularly funny stories.

Had a mate who got drunk in one in Prague and thought it would be funny to get on stage and spin round the pole.

Bouncers tossed him out on his face.

Know a guy who allegedly spent so much on his credit card at a strippers that he reported it stolen. Had to lie to the police and bank. No idea if the story is true.

Haven't really been in many myself. Not my scene. I am too cheap, and would rather sleep with a 4 for free than pay to watch a 10 dance and get nothing out of it.
 
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May 21, 2013
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nyc
Ohhhhh ok


kings cross Sydney in the 80s was rather wild & fucked up
picture a street lined with fucking ”strip clubs” & pubs & dingy bars
places with names like “the love machine” & “playgirls” completely run by shady underworld types with the kind of bouncers that you didn’t even want to look at the wrong way, the Cross was an evil place, it’s been cleaned up somewhat with restrictions etc
but thesestrip clubs were full of young blokes on bucks nights etc they were full of dirty, skanky, heroin riddled prostitutes that would make their way through the crowd & try & get young, drunk horny blokes to go ”upstairs” or out the back etc
The dancers were usually equally as skanky & drug addled & would, at some ungodly hour drag some drunk young buck onto the stage & attempt to fuck him right there in front of his mates & everyone else, to great hilarity from everyone, strippers would also glide through the seated section shoving their disease riddled quims in punters faces, where drunk desperados would stick their tongues out & take a slurp, something an old mate/ acquaintance never did live down

It was so fucking seedy, the whole place, many a young man lost his way in Kings Cross, many a traveller, backpacker has sordid stories to tell, it was a cunt of a place
fuck I miss it all :lol::hammertime
I visited KC in 83 my mates said as far as the hookers go "rule of thumb the best looking ones are geezers so avoid" ha ha savage
 
Jun 14, 2012
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I don't think I'd bother going again to be honest. Certainly wouldn't go out of my way for it. You're essentially paying for a dose of blue balls.
 
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WaltzingMatilda

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Nov 29, 2015
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I think my favourite was in Thailand, the way that little thing burst balloons was enough to make me think that you’d never cheat on someone like that
 

Deebo

"Messkin" Deebo
Jun 5, 2013
16,150
11,804
Show dem balls bro
Nah, I don't fuck around. Wife's best friend's daughter was a stripper for a while though. Worked at one of those no-alcohol serving paces so they were 100% nude (I think it was City Limits), anyway was fun going over to visit her mom when she was still in her mid 20's living at home. She'd have a few friends over. They all dressed slutty pretty much or all spandex. Eye candy basically, but they were all 20 years younger than me so meh.
 
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