Divorce.. have you done it? Do you think you're likely to someday?

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
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#23
Just like most of the young couples around today they have a world of pain in front of them. Most anyway.
Life is pain. Anything good will sooner or later bring pain as well. My first serious long term relationship was a difficult time when it ended, do I regret being with her? Not a chance. Would I have been better off if I'd spent four years sitting in my room jerking off? Absolutely not.

It's a near guarantee that you will be divorced. Not a matter of if but when.
:rofl

In the US, right around a third of marriages end in divorce. Hardly a "near guarantee".

Baby boomers got divorced at higher rates than younger people do, but even the baby boomers never hit a 50% divorce rate.

The reason you can't see it coming is that human society today is so much more complicated that people change all the time. It's not the world 100 years ago where man and woman in an LTR typically did the same activities for 50-60 years. Between job, internet media, hobbies, dating apps and hypergamy the woman you married today is going to be very different 5 years from now. You too will be different.

This is why so many men and women cheat today. It's unnatural for a woman to spend 8-12 hours a day with a man that isn't her husband and vice versa. Organically you just grow closer to people you spend time with and that's why since the start of novella hypergamy and dirty behavior was always associated to the city folk and not so much to the smaller, closer knit rural farmer communities where man and women worked and lived together.

It's not just these unnatural pairings to blame either. The hobby world has never been as large as it is today. You can hide in a virtual world for the entire ride just poking up whenever needed. This one is a big problem for men and is actually pulling men away from being productive. It's also a problem for women who think the trade up is going to happen every time they swipe their phones.
:lol:

You're right, it sucks that we can grow and evolve as people now, and we can pursue hobbies and interests. Oh for those golden days when your entire life was spent doing backbreaking physical labor within walking distance of the house that you were born in, and never ever seeing a movie or a show, going away for the weekend, eating a meal at a restaurant or reading a book that wasn't the Bible. :lol:

Anyway I am glad I went MGTOW for these reasons. Society whether you like it or not is not designed for LTRs. Not anymore. We're returning to tribalism primarily because of it.
Well you certainly seem like a good advertisement for the lifestyle - you don't come off as bitter or lonely at all. :thumbsup

:hat
 
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Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
31,106
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#24
Agreed marriage shouldnt be written off but id bet most people on here know a married couple that just make each other miserable, other end if the scale i guess
Yeah that is certainly true, but I put that (mostly) on people being a) idiots or b) weak. Many people just sort of fall into a relationship, then they drift along and not because they're still really into each other's company, but because neither of them is secure enough to be single and after a certain amount of time, you're "supposed" to move in together, get engaged, have a kid etc. People who sleepwalk into marriage like that, yeah.... there's a lot of them.

:hat
 
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DBerry

complete and utter prick
Jun 11, 2013
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'Straya, cunt.
#25
Yeah that is certainly true, but I put that (mostly) on people being a) idiots or b) weak. Many people just sort of fall into a relationship, then they drift along and not because they're still really into each other's company, but because neither of them is secure enough to be single and after a certain amount of time, you're "supposed" to move in together, get engaged, have a kid etc. People who sleepwalk into marriage like that, yeah.... there's a lot of them.

:hat
You won’t have to ever worry about divorce, ‘tard, girls will always sniff out what a weirdo loser you are and fuck off before talk of marriage would ever be raised.
 
May 19, 2013
872
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#26
It's worth the risk because when it is good it is so good. I met my now wife when I was 18. Had a kid a year later. Realised at the time I was young as fuck so got her to sign forms saying I have joint custody of the child so in the event we broke up then I would have equal say with anything to do with the kid. Did I think I would ever need that? I hoped not but prepared just in case.

Thankfully never needed that as we now are married and have another kid and I honestly cannot see that ever changing but I dont understand why people, particularly father's don't prepare for things going bad when they are good because it will save them so much pain if they ever do go bad and if they don't then no harm done either as they were never needed.
 
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Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
31,106
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#27
It's worth the risk because when it is good it is so good. I met my now wife when I was 18. Had a kid a year later. Realised at the time I was young as fuck so got her to sign forms saying I have joint custody of the child so in the event we broke up then I would have equal say with anything to do with the kid. Did I think I would ever need that? I hoped not but prepared just in case.

Thankfully never needed that as we now are married and have another kid and I honestly cannot see that ever changing but I dont understand why people, particularly father's don't prepare for things going bad when they are good because it will save them so much pain if they ever do go bad and if they don't then no harm done either as they were never needed.
:thumbsup

I have friends with nagging wives they have little in common with and whose company they don't even seem to enjoy, and those married lives seem like horrible nightmares to me.

I also have friends with good wives who they are deeply in love with, and because of that, their emotional lives are vastly richer and more fulfilling than mine is. They have a woman who helps to share the burdens of life, rather than adding to them. And they look at her with respect and admiration for her being the mother of their children. I like my girlfriend a lot, we get on great just hanging out doing nothing and we both think the other is sexy as fuck, so she adds a lot of happiness and satisfaction to my emotional landscape at this point in my life. Should I throw her over the side just because we will probably break up at some point down the line and that'll suck? Ridiculous. Of course it will suck, but the thing about life is that it's 100% guaranteed to give you regular servings of suck no matter what you do - but you have to create your own joy, it won't just show up at your door regardless like pain will. HumansSuck thinks that by structuring his life to avoid any possibility of future heartbreak, that he'll be happier and better off in the end. He won't be.

:hat
 
May 17, 2013
8,721
6,272
Louisiana
#28
So then you had to refine your search to someone with the same name. Kind of limits your options.
Well, you need to either get a cover-up tattoo or find a woman who understands that was a long time ago and there's no real emotional connection. I didn't get a cover-up, and at my age, 66, it's not going to happen as my getting a tattoo days are long behind me and I'll live with just the two I already have.
 
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Ronsonfly

Toxic White Male
May 8, 2013
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#29
Life is pain. Anything good will sooner or later bring pain as well.
You won’t have to ever worry about divorce, ‘tard, girls will always sniff out what a weirdo loser you are and fuck off before talk of marriage would ever be raised.
:rofl That's like reading the lyrics of one of Homer Simpson's Sadgasm songs from the grunge episode.

Politically Incorrect (parody of Nirvana's "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle")
Pain is Brown.

Hate is White.

Love is Black.

Stab the Night.

Kingdom of Numb.

Closet of Hurt.

Feelings are Dumb.

Kisses are Dirt.
I am convinced you can see some people's divorces coming before they can.
I'd agree but sometimes there can be some real surprises. My niece's sister in law (fuck knows what that makes her to me but she's a cunt, so, it matters not :lol:) had been going out with a guy for about 7 or 8 years. They got married and he fucked off two weeks later and no fucker saw that one coming. :rofl No idea what went through his head to prompt that action.
They'd been living together for ages before getting married so I really don't know what could have changed for him inside two weeks and caused him to do the Foxtrot Oscar.

A couple of mates told me years ago a couple of tales, one involving their sister, another a family acquaintance. The sister - a right snobby snotty cunt IMO - was married into a decidedly comfortably off family, smug as fuck with all the material comforts and full of her own importance. Large, main house, second house in France, managerial position in a large company for her, him working in the family business, first kid a few years old. All nicey nicey, everything right with her world.

Until they took a break in France at the second home but he came back a couple of days early, as planned, to play in some tennis event. Except, as the snotty cunt discovered on her return, that if there was a tennis event, he didn't play in it. She came back to a half empty house because the now-departed husband and his family had taken what they felt they were entitled to in order to furnish the flat he was already now ensconced in.
:lol: They'd run it like a military operation and moved her around the battle map and into dead ground in France whilst they executed the Escape and Evasion action. Smugbubble popped, the fucker had no idea it was coming but I suspect the family had never liked her, was pissed sonny-boy married her and was absolutely delighted when he started to let on that the romance was dead and he was married to a cunt.

The other crazy one they told me about was the dumbass fuckers who, through a combination of wanting to showboat to the world on the occasion of their little princess's marriage and indulging her every whim and dream of the fairytale wedding, borrowed over £30k to add to any other funds they were using. And this was a good 20 years ago.
Well, the marriage ended literally years and years before they finished paying the loan off. It didn't even last 12 months. :patsch
 
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Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
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#30
:rofl That's like reading the lyrics of one of Homer Simpson's Sadgasm songs from the grunge episode.
Fair call. :lol:

It's true, though. I mean, HumansSuck is miserable, so he looks at young people in love and can only see heartbreak years down the line. Well, so what? You could have a wonderful marriage for 50 years and then one of you dies and that's a tragedy for the other. Does that mean you shouldn't have gotten married, shouldn't have been with that person at all because eventually their death will be excruciatingly painful for you? Better to spend those 50 years sitting by yourself eating microwave meals for one and jerking off? I don't think so. :thumbsup

I'd agree but sometimes there can be some real surprises. My niece's sister in law (fuck knows what that makes her to me but she's a cunt, so, it matters not :lol:) had been going out with a guy for about 7 or 8 years. They got married and he fucked off two weeks later and no fucker saw that one coming. :rofl No idea what went through his head to prompt that action.
They'd been living together for ages before getting married so I really don't know what could have changed for him inside two weeks and caused him to do the Foxtrot Oscar.

A couple of mates told me years ago a couple of tales, one involving their sister, another a family acquaintance. The sister - a right snobby snotty cunt IMO - was married into a decidedly comfortably off family, smug as fuck with all the material comforts and full of her own importance. Large, main house, second house in France, managerial position in a large company for her, him working in the family business, first kid a few years old. All nicey nicey, everything right with her world.

Until they took a break in France at the second home but he came back a couple of days early, as planned, to play in some tennis event. Except, as the snotty cunt discovered on her return, that if there was a tennis event, he didn't play in it. She came back to a half empty house because the now-departed husband and his family had taken what they felt they were entitled to in order to furnish the flat he was already now ensconced in.
:lol: They'd run it like a military operation and moved her around the battle map and into dead ground in France whilst they executed the Escape and Evasion action. Smugbubble popped, the fucker had no idea it was coming but I suspect the family had never liked her, was pissed sonny-boy married her and was absolutely delighted when he started to let on that the romance was dead and he was married to a cunt.

The other crazy one they told me about was the dumbass fuckers who, through a combination of wanting to showboat to the world on the occasion of their little princess's marriage and indulging her every whim and dream of the fairytale wedding, borrowed over £30k to add to any other funds they were using. And this was a good 20 years ago.
Well, the marriage ended literally years and years before they finished paying the loan off. It didn't even last 12 months. :patsch
Oh sure, shit happens, absolutely. But again, that's the same for everything. I mean, every time you get behind the wheel, you run the risk of being involved in a fatal accident. Does that mean you should never ever learn to drive in case you hit someone one day? Of course not. But that's what HumansSuck would tell us.

:hat
 

Ronsonfly

Toxic White Male
May 8, 2013
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#31
Fair call. :lol:

It's true, though. I mean, HumansSuck is miserable, so he looks at young people in love and can only see heartbreak years down the line. Well, so what? You could have a wonderful marriage for 50 years and then one of you dies and that's a tragedy for the other. Does that mean you shouldn't have gotten married, shouldn't have been with that person at all because eventually their death will be excruciatingly painful for you? Better to spend those 50 years sitting by yourself eating microwave meals for one and jerking off? I don't think so. :thumbsup



Oh sure, shit happens, absolutely. But again, that's the same for everything. I mean, every time you get behind the wheel, you run the risk of being involved in a fatal accident. Does that mean you should never ever learn to drive in case you hit someone one day? Of course not. But that's what HumansSuck would tell us.

:hat
Whilst that's true to a point the statistics don't lie. Most people can get vehicular insurance but trying getting divorce insurance. The actuaries would shit a brick and the monthly insurance premiums would be higher than what you'd pay an ex-wife. :lol:

Divorce rates are around 50% but it's not 50/50 that when you drive you'll be involved in a fatal accident. Not on a one-off journey or across your entire lifetime's history of driving. Being involved in a fatality is a very low risk eventuality.
 

Haggis

CHB World Championship People's Champion
May 16, 2013
31,106
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#32
Whilst that's true to a point the statistics don't lie. Most people can get vehicular insurance but trying getting divorce insurance. The actuaries would shit a brick and the monthly insurance premiums would be higher than what you'd pay an ex-wife. :lol:

Divorce rates are around 50% but it's not 50/50 that when you drive you'll be involved in a fatal accident. Not on a one-off journey or across your entire lifetime's history of driving. Being involved in a fatality is a very low risk eventuality.
Divorce rates are lower than 50%, and dropping. Young people are waiting longer to get married and also living together first, which helps a lot in terms of finding a compatible spouse. So many people who got married at age 20, or who get married without ever living together, end up divorcing and that's not surprising. Same with those idiots who know their relationship sucks but who can't bear the thought of being single and therefore convince themselves that getting married /having a kid will "fix" the relationship. :thumbsup

:hat
 
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May 16, 2013
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#33
Going through one now. Luckily we are both reasonable adults so it's actually going really well.We both agreed to keep attorneys out if it not point in each of us spending $300 per hour. It makes so much more sense to simply be reasonable and even be willing to compromise. I see couples all the time fighting over dumb shit between the 2 of them they end up spending thousands on attornies to fight over a $500 item.

She hasn't made any unreasonable demands or requests. If we can keep things this way everything should be ok.
 
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Beefcake

Disgruntled Mexican
May 21, 2013
3,591
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#34
Married once, divorced 5 years later. Was mostly good times, I think, but got ugly near the end. Blame on both sides for the problems in the relationship, but I ultimately fucked it up and didn't make much effort to save our marriage when I had the chance. I was too fucked up myself at the time, and I didn't feel like I deserved her. I know it was incredibly painful for her, but I really did feel like I would only hurt her more if I'd reassured her everything would be ok and then nothing changed.

Depression is a motherfucker.

 

DB Cooper

peel me a grape
May 17, 2013
15,895
3,258
#35
:rofl That's like reading the lyrics of one of Homer Simpson's Sadgasm songs from the grunge episode.

I'd agree but sometimes there can be some real surprises.....
True about surprises. Some good friends who lived nearby had two kids and seemed to be the ideal couple. One day I heard something about them having broken up and thought it must have been a joke. It wasn't.
 
May 16, 2013
5,119
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#36
I'm twice divorced now.. but I'm back with my first ex :lol:

I don't know about my first marriage... but my second, I could tell right after we married that it wasn't going to last. It didn't change my resolve to make it last... but I could tell it was only a matter of time.
 

Royal Watcher

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie
Nov 10, 2014
1,100
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#37
I'm twice divorced now.. but I'm back with my first ex :lol:

I don't know about my first marriage... but my second, I could tell right after we married that it wasn't going to last. It didn't change my resolve to make it last... but I could tell it was only a matter of time.
You got back with your first wife after divorcing your second one? Do you live in Hollywood?
 
Apr 7, 2014
3,691
1,174
#38
It's worth the risk because when it is good it is so good. I met my now wife when I was 18. Had a kid a year later. Realised at the time I was young as fuck so got her to sign forms saying I have joint custody of the child so in the event we broke up then I would have equal say with anything to do with the kid. Did I think I would ever need that? I hoped not but prepared just in case.

Thankfully never needed that as we now are married and have another kid and I honestly cannot see that ever changing but I dont understand why people, particularly father's don't prepare for things going bad when they are good because it will save them so much pain if they ever do go bad and if they don't then no harm done either as they were never needed.
Lack of responsibility. There are people out there who, on some level, would rather be able to place the blame elsewhere than step up.