Farting.. Bother you?

Would it bother you?

  • Yes

  • No


Results are only viewable after voting.

Duo

Bosomus Maximus
Jun 14, 2012
6,513
My nieces used to fart and belch in grade school. I told them, "You shouldn't do that, because the your body needs those gasses to properly inflate your boobs and butt!" Burping causes flat chests in girls, while farting results in tranny ass. My one neice continued farting but stopped belching, developing enormous boobs with a flat ass showing a disgusting plumber's crack she's constantly having to pull her pants up over. (Guys are repulsed by the distraction of her continually having to do this.) My other niece stopped farting, but kept right on belching, resulting in a huge butt, but now she wants fake tits parked on top of her flat chest. Both now wish they had listened to their wise uncle when it really mattered.

I understand that Taylor Swift farts and burps every chance she gets, giving her a Michael Jackson stick figure appealing only to pedophile faggots. (I think she's really a castrated boy, based on her lack of pelvic girdle breadth and body fat too low to permit the onset of menses and puberty. Beyond that, her face also prevents the onset of boners in natural males.)
 

ant-man

Opticians rob you blind.
Jun 11, 2014
8,584
Round and about
My nieces used to fart and belch in grade school. I told them, "You shouldn't do that, because the your body needs those gasses to properly inflate your boobs and butt!" Burping causes flat chests in girls, while farting results in tranny ass. My one neice continued farting but stopped belching, developing enormous boobs with a flat ass showing a disgusting plumber's crack she's constantly having to pull her pants up over. (Guys are repulsed by the distraction of her continually having to do this.) My other niece stopped farting, but kept right on belching, resulting in a huge butt, but now she wants fake tits parked on top of her flat chest. Both now wish they had listened to their wise uncle when it really mattered.

I understand that Taylor Swift farts and burps every chance she gets, giving her a Michael Jackson stick figure appealing only to pedophile faggots. (I think she's really a castrated boy, based on her lack of pelvic girdle breadth and body fat too low to permit the onset of menses and puberty. Beyond that, her face also prevents the onset of boners in natural males.)
:lol:

You are a wise and wicked man indeed Mr D. :yep
 
Reactions: Duo

W8ing 4 a M8

Not waitin on a lady just waitin on a mate
Jun 21, 2017
335
If my missus farts I kick her outside with the dogs unless it's in the kitchen when she's cooking me dinner she's a good cook
 

Duo

Bosomus Maximus
Jun 14, 2012
6,513
Had no idea women farted. Thought it was just a male thing. Well I'll be.
It IS strictly a male thing. No desirable female of reproductive capacity is biologically capable of producing the gases needed for farting.

Prior to the onset of puberty, girls can fart, just like boys. Women regain this ability to fart after menopause. But during their child bearing years, genetic females physiologically switch this capacity off for boner inducing reproductive purposes (unless they are physically repulsive, in which case they may neurologically transform into dykes and spinsters).

Other apparent females who fart are likely either crossdressers or transexuals who would not qualify for Olympic competition as women under long established genetic testing guidelines.
 
May 16, 2013
7,033
If I hear a girl fart, she's gone.

If she can't control her ass how the fuck is she going to control a washing machine?
 
Reactions: Duo

ant-man

Opticians rob you blind.
Jun 11, 2014
8,584
Round and about
If I hear a girl fart, she's gone.

If she can't control her ass how the fuck is she going to control a washing machine?
Have you a peer reviewed study on the correlation between the rectal retorts of laundrywomen and their washing machine driving skills so you can 'follow through' with this outrageous generalisation?

I thought not.

Reported for racism.
 

Duo

Bosomus Maximus
Jun 14, 2012
6,513
women shouldn't fart,curse,belch,smoke or have tattoos
Nor should they have piercings. How are you supposed to nibble on her earlobes if she's wearing earrings? And if her belly button is pierced, how are you supposed to tongue fuck her navel to drive her crazy when it's blocked by some damned feminine umbilicus chastity insert?

Hugh Hefner had it entirely correct during the classic airbrushed Playboy era. Female farting, cursing, belching, smoking, tattoos, piercings, obesity, anorexia and any female over the age of 24 or who refers to herself as a "woman" (derogatory five letter word spelled, "b-i-t-c-h") instead of a girl or lady (four letter word spelled, "n-i-c-e"), belonged in circus freak shows, not between the pages of his magazine (before his college brainwashed cunt daughter Christie took it over and turned Playboy into an exotic zoology tabloid with trannies, fake tits, PhotoShop, formaldehyde skin creams, and cross dressing Toxic Avenger wannabes wearing high heels, makeup, wigs, eyeliner, and pictorials of models above the modern drinking age...).
 

SwollenGoat

Deicide
May 17, 2013
49,780
The House that Peterbilt
Nor should they have piercings. How are you supposed to nibble on her earlobes if she's wearing earrings? And if her belly button is pierced, how are you supposed to tongue fuck her navel to drive her crazy when it's blocked by some damned feminine umbilicus chastity insert?

Hugh Hefner had it entirely correct during the classic airbrushed Playboy era. Female farting, cursing, belching, smoking, tattoos, piercings, obesity, anorexia and any female over the age of 24 or who refers to herself as a "woman" (derogatory five letter word spelled, "b-i-t-c-h") instead of a girl or lady (four letter word spelled, "n-i-c-e"), belonged in circus freak shows, not between the pages of his magazine (before his college brainwashed cunt daughter Christie took it over and turned Playboy into an exotic zoology tabloid with trannies, fake tits, PhotoShop, formaldehyde skin creams, and cross dressing Toxic Avenger wannabes wearing high heels, makeup, wigs, eyeliner, and pictorials of models above the modern drinking age...).
:lol:
 

kf3

Jul 17, 2012
3,663
South London
Nor should they have piercings. How are you supposed to nibble on her earlobes if she's wearing earrings? And if her belly button is pierced, how are you supposed to tongue fuck her navel to drive her crazy when it's blocked by some damned feminine umbilicus chastity insert?
do their boobs feel like wet sand too?
 
Reactions: Duo

Duo

Bosomus Maximus
Jun 14, 2012
6,513
You can afford to laugh with your well established terminology for females (one which precludes swearing, farting, body odor, or pooping anything except ice cream)...:

so my lady friend just bought herself a whole new towel 'set' for her place................
my lady friend
My lady friend got me a near mint condition first edition copy of "Adventures in Time and Space"
a lady friend of mine
a lady friend
my lady friend also has a job.............