Farting.. Bother you?

[Duo]

do their boobs feel like wet sand too?

Bastard! I had a girlfriend named Kitty, and every time I emptied her litter box, there were always these boob looking things in there covered by wet sand...

 

[kf3]

Bastard! I had a girlfriend named Kitty, and every time I emptied her litter box, there were always these boob looking things in there covered by wet sand...

prob just a cultural thing.

seriously tho, piercings only help stimulation.

 

[Duo]

prob just a cultural thing.

seriously tho, piercings only help stimulation.

Well yeah, provided they conduct electricity well, and you're using sufficient voltage conducted through the clamps. (I defer to @Goat on such information though, as CHB's resident electrician consultant on female electro stimulation for advice about these matters...).

 

[Duo]

Oh shit, @stevie's here!... Hey stevie, doesn't farting violate the vow of silence if it can be heard? (And if it can be smelt but not heard, is it still a fart? - - - existential question...)

 

[steviebruno]

The fart itself isn't what's offensive; it's the thought alone that farting around me is acceptable. Farting, from a female, should only be maternal... from a place of authority. Women can fart in front of their children, but not in front of husbands, brothers, nephews, male friends, etc.

 

[Bjj_Boxer]

I seem to have walked into the pussy ass bitches section of CHB. The fuck is wrong with you guys? It's natural, everyone does it. Grab your balls, man the fuck up and get over yourselves

 

[Duo]

The fart itself isn't what's offensive; it's the thought alone that farting around me is acceptable. Farting, from a female, should only be maternal... from a place of authority. Women can fart in front of their children, but not in front of husbands, brothers, nephews, male friends, etc.

Female farts aren't offensive, because they're LETHAL, and violate the Geneva Convention! Like smelly female armpits, they kill things, so few accounts of survival remain in the historical record...

As much as I respect your authority on such matters, my mother strongly believes that farting from any adult female should be terminal rather than maternal. On the other hand, my mother's mother-in-law was a farting, belching pig. Yesterday, my mother turned 20 years older than her mother-in-law was at the time of that bitch's death.

My mother credits the biological longevity of females in her family to the fact that they NEVER fart, thus conserving vital gasses essential to perpetual respiration...(Thanks Mom, for providing me that scientific explanation when you stopped laughing too hard to be understood while previewing this post, and Happy Birthday...)

 

[steviebruno]

Female farts aren't offensive, because they're LETHAL, and violate the Geneva Convention! Like smelly female armpits, they kill things, so few accounts of survival remain in the historical record...

As much as I respect your authority on such matters, my mother strongly believes that farting from any adult female should be terminal rather than maternal. On the other hand, my mother's mother-in-law was a farting, belching pig. Yesterday, my mother turned 20 years older than her mother-in-law was at the time of that bitch's death.

My mother credits the biological longevity of females in her family to the fact that they NEVER fart, thus conserving vital gasses essential to perpetual respiration...(Thanks Mom, for providing me that scientific explanation when you stopped laughing too hard to be understood while previewing this post, and Happy Birthday...)

My mom farted in front of me... I'm a survivor... Perhaps the chemical compound varies from family to family? I would guess that the women in your family expelled pure carbon monoxide, but that's supposed to be odorless from what I understand.

 

[Duo]

I seem to have walked into the pussy ass bitches section of CHB. The fuck is wrong with you guys? It's natural, everyone does it. Grab your balls, man the fuck up and get over yourselves

Okay @Bjj_Boxer, you fucker! Go right on ahead! YOU post yourself passing this challenge, you cowardly, chickenshit pussy! (No asshole, I am NOT going to attempt this, mainly because I'm all the things I just accused you of being...):

Speaking of pussy, feel free to scroll forward to 2:10...:








This next clip isn't quite what it seems. She's had lots of practice, going through this every time she takes off her panties. (This is why my girlfriends take chlorophyll and zinc supplements with lavender or jasmine tea, so they smell like floral garden bouquets instead...)

 

[Duo]

My mom farted in front of me... I'm a survivor... Perhaps the chemical compound varies from family to family? I would guess that the women in your family expelled pure carbon monoxide, but that's supposed to be odorless from what I understand.

Kudos for surviving...

Man, I dunno...Women in my father's side of the family drank castor oil, so they farted Sarin gas. (My mother and other female relatives chain smoke, and she only uses gas ovens in her kitchens, so maybe any gas emissions are instantly burnt. Like my sister, she does use scented candles in the bathrooms hoarded from numerous excursions to the Yankee Candle factory and outlets...)

 

[SwollenGoat]

You can afford to laugh with your well established terminology for females (one which precludes swearing, farting, body odor, or pooping anything except ice cream)...:

fair point

 

[thehook13]

 

[Khaiser]

Been with the Mrs about 8 years. If she started casually farting in front of me it would be time to end it.

She farted once accidentally while we were hiking in Slovenia and she’s never lived it down since. I probably still bring up that incident once every few weeks on average and it was 5/6 years ago. I can let it slide if it’s an accident, but getting comfortable with that kinda thing is pretty much resigning yourself to a sexually unfulfilling relationship. There’s a level of familiarly that you’re just not meant to have with your partner.

 

[gumbo2176]

It is tradition to eat red beans and rice on Monday's here in New Orleans. This dates back to long ago when women would do the weekly wash on Monday's and needed to cook something that didn't need constant attention while they worked on washing clothes.

Talk about gas-------------------you get a bunch of guys together and it resembles the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles" where they are eating beans at night.

 

[steviebruno]

I seem to have walked into the pussy ass bitches section of CHB. The fuck is wrong with you guys? It's natural, everyone does it. Grab your balls, man the fuck up and get over yourselves

Lots of things are natural that shouldn't be done in public. I can't drop down my pants and take a shyt in a crowded room just because it's natural. I cant whip out my cock and start pissing in front of everyone just because it's a normal bodily function. Human beings are supposed to have some level of refinement beyond what any average beast would do.

 

[mandela]

It's no coincidence that most of the people on here who seem to revel in such base behaviour are some of the biggest cunts on the board.

Just 'that' type of people.

Always poorly educated, usually chauvinistic, racist pricks.

 

[Setanta]

women shouldn't fart,curse,belch,smoke or have tattoos

You got lofty woman standards, Goat !

How do you view women who give wicked blow/rim jobs ?

 

[SwollenGoat]

You got lofty woman standards, Goat !

nah

just some standards I guess...........

How do you view women who give wicked blow/rim jobs ?

Im all for em

 

[Duo]

It is tradition to eat red beans and rice on Monday's here in New Orleans. This dates back to long ago when women would do the weekly wash on Monday's and needed to cook something that didn't need constant attention while they worked on washing clothes.

Talk about gas-------------------you get a bunch of guys together and it resembles the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles" where they are eating beans at night.

According to your own posting history Gumby, you've cooked and served worse to unsuspecting northerners. (I'd rather blend a chocolate milk shake made from frozen cubes of milk of magnesia and Nesquik than eat okra.)...:

I've grown up on eating our cuisine and one of my favorites to cook, and eat are various forms of gumbo. My chicken/sausage/okra gumbo is killer and I'm use to it as are most of the folks that live here in New Orleans.

That said, I went to a friends house in Indiana for a motorcycle get together he had on his property and about 30 people showed up. The weather was perfect for camping and many of us pitched tents and our host supplied a couple Port-O-Lets for the obvious reasons.

Long story short, I cooked a huge pot of my gumbo and another big pot of alligator sauce piquant for one of our evening meals. To those not accustomed to okra, it can act as a laxative in some folks and many of the people were not use to eating okra fixed like that. The Port-O-Lets got a workout that night and the next day.

The horror stories I heard the next day of folks waking out of their sound sleep in the middle of the night heading to the toilets with clinched butts had me in stitches.

 

[gumbo2176]

According to your own posting history Gumby, you've cooked and served worse to unsuspecting northerners. (I'd rather blend a chocolate milk shake made from frozen cubes of milk of magnesia and Nesquik than eat okra.)...:

They knew what they were getting into and walked into it with both feet, bowls and spoons in hand ready to tempt fate.


Fate can be a cruel mistress.