I thought she was joking...

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
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Scotland
Well, fair enough, but in that case, when your daughter goes home give her spending money to maintain the standard she is used to. Presumably your exes home is the same regardless. It's not like if you stop paying her support then she will no longer live where she does. She IS an ungrateful fucker, if the facts are as you have presented them. Unbelievable fucking nerve to ask for a lump sum for a fucking cosmetic procedure, based off the fact that she was once pregnant...when she got pregnant by fucking up the contraception she told you she was on. If she didn't fuck up, she lied...either way it's more her fault than yours.
Aye, I do give her spending money but this is more for things like having a nicer house/bedroom etc. I don't want her going g back to a dump...although I'm sure the house is fine and my kid says it's fine but for a few hundred pound a month it makes me feel better. Like I said, her mum works in care now and this may (or may not) be because she had limited options when she had a kid...she was a teenager too. I went to Uni and relied on her massively in the early days so I do kinda feel like I owe her for that.
 

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
A court would laugh her out of there, even with things as set up in a woman's favour as they are. Now...IF she has serious issues over them, she can go and see her GP and explain how much this has affected her life, never going on a beach etc, and there is a real chance that she would get referred and possibly get this on the NHS. Cosmetic surgery is available on the NHS when someone can show that the condition is seriously impacting on their mental health, causing anxiety etc.

This is why women who have had mastectomies can get implants on the NHS (and rightly so) and there are other examples...the NHS website even mentions tummy tucks post pregnancy, breast implants for women with severely underdeveloped or asymmetric breasts etc. It's at least worth her looking into this before outrageously coming to you for a handout.
Hmm...

That's a great shout about the NHS. Naw sure she's even thought of that.

I tend to agree on the court outcome...but you never know nowadays, ffs.
 
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Jun 14, 2012
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She'd be fuckin laughed out of a courtroom man. She's got some fuckin cheek. If this was a serious thing and surgery was a neccesitity then yeah help out for the sake of your kids mother but this whore is demanding money for her own selfish benefit. Not going to lie but this cunt comes across as a a manipulative bitch.
 

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
She'd be fuckin laughed out of a courtroom man. She's got some fuckin cheek. If this was a serious thing and surgery was a neccesitity then yeah help out for the sake of your kids mother but this whore is demanding money for her own selfish benefit. Not going to lie but this cunt comes across as a a manipulative bitch.
:lol:

She's cool, man.

I mean, in 17 years this is the only really daft thing that's happened. She's been sound as fuck for the most part. Supportive of my move and all that. Done far more than me when we were much younger so I could go to Uni and all that. These stretch marks have always been an issue for her though. She was always a stunningly beautiful lassie with an amazing figure but has always covered up with low confidence/self esteem.

Fuck, I mind when she was pregnant, fairly late on, and we went for a check up and when she took her top off the nurse even went "ooft...scarred for life" which was insensitive as fuck but gives an idea of how bad they are. It's definitely affected her life massively.
 

NSFW

Freedom Fighter
May 14, 2013
21,843
10,515
Castle Duckula.
Shit imagine if the money is actually to pay for an hit on you and you end up paying to have yourself killed. Almost worth it to find out.
 
Jun 14, 2012
13,327
5,938
:lol:

She's cool, man.

I mean, in 17 years this is the only really daft thing that's happened. She's been sound as fuck for the most part. Supportive of my move and all that. Done far more than me when we were much younger so I could go to Uni and all that. These stretch marks have always been an issue for her though. She was always a stunningly beautiful lassie with an amazing figure but has always covered up with low confidence/self esteem.

Fuck, I mind when she was pregnant, fairly late on, and we went for a check up and when she took her top off the nurse even went "ooft...scarred for life" which was insensitive as fuck but gives an idea of how bad they are. It's definitely affected her life massively.
Pics man.

Fair enough but it just seems crazy that she's getting aggressive over something that isn't you're fault and something you have absolutely no obligation to do. Does she not have a fella.
 

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
Pics man.

Fair enough but it just seems crazy that she's getting aggressive over something that isn't you're fault and something you have absolutely no obligation to do. Does she not have a fella.
She's a lesbian now, mate. That's kinda why we split in the first place. Been with the same lassie for about 15 years or summin.

And usually I'm good for a pic. Have posted plenty on here but my kids mum is off limits, ffs.
 
Jun 14, 2012
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5,938
She's a lesbian now, mate. That's kinda why we split in the first place. Been with the same lassie for about 15 years or summin.

And usually I'm good for a pic. Have posted plenty on here but my kids mum is off limits, ffs.
A lesbian? The plot thickens man. The place where you're from sounds like good craic. Between your ex becoming a lesbian and the greatest striker the world has ever seen playing Sunday league has made me want to move there.
 
Reactions: mandela
Jul 24, 2012
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Yeah I agree with the others here, she isn't due anything, particular large sums of cash for cosmetic surgery when you have custody, responsibility and the cost of your child for 75% of the year... I assume she pays fuck all to you for the time you look after the wean and considers that her being generous to you.

At the end of it, you're giving your daughter a fantastic opportunity and experience in life in the she gets to split her time between the US and Scotland... this is a no-brainer mate, she has no legal recourse or entitlement and the most likely thing she'll try is to restrict your access to your daughter but it sounds like she's getting to an age where that won't be the mothers call anyway.
 
Reactions: mandela
Jun 4, 2012
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:lol:

She's cool, man.

I mean, in 17 years this is the only really daft thing that's happened. She's been sound as fuck for the most part. Supportive of my move and all that. Done far more than me when we were much younger so I could go to Uni and all that. These stretch marks have always been an issue for her though. She was always a stunningly beautiful lassie with an amazing figure but has always covered up with low confidence/self esteem.

Fuck, I mind when she was pregnant, fairly late on, and we went for a check up and when she took her top off the nurse even went "ooft...scarred for life" which was insensitive as fuck but gives an idea of how bad they are. It's definitely affected her life massively.
It is fucked up for her, but it's neither your fault or your responsibility. Let's look at this another way. She knew deep down she was lesbian. You didn't. She either lied about still being on birth control or misspoke and then forgot to do what she said she would do, and allowed herself to get pregnant while you were ignorant of the reality of both her sexuality and her contraceptive situation.

She comes out, you're cool about it. You always provide for your mutual kid that she seemed (if I am being honest) to basically use you for to get...pretty much pre the big surrogacy movement wasn't it? You send £100 a month while she has no child there, which her and her partner can, if they like, use as they wish. Then, she calls up demanding you foot the bill for cosmetic surgery.

If you put it like that, it makes her look to be a total twat. But as you've explained, it's more complex than that, but that means she needs to get some perspective and look at it from outside her own personal emotions. You should not be footing this bill. The NHS might, and if they don't then it's something that her and her partner should look to do together. Joint costs outside of supporting a child only come into play when people are in a relationship, and you haven't been for 16 fucking years.
 

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
Yeah I agree with the others here, she isn't due anything, particular large sums of cash for cosmetic surgery when you have custody, responsibility and the cost of your child for 75% of the year... I assume she pays fuck all to you for the time you look after the wean and considers that her being generous to you.

At the end of it, you're giving your daughter a fantastic opportunity and experience in life in the she gets to split her time between the US and Scotland... this is a no-brainer mate, she has no legal recourse or entitlement and the most likely thing she'll try is to restrict your access to your daughter but it sounds like she's getting to an age where that won't be the mothers call anyway.
Aye, she gies me fuck all but we have pretty different situations so I wouldn't expect her to, tbh.

And to her credit, regardless of any issues she's ever had, or has with this, she'd never use the wean as leverage. This is just a bizarre thing that has come up and is definitely an outlier here. Like I've said, 99.9% of the time she's cool as fuck, and reasonable, which makes this weirder.
 
Reactions: Broxi

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
A lesbian? The plot thickens man. The place where you're from sounds like good craic. Between your ex becoming a lesbian and the greatest striker the world has ever seen playing Sunday league has made me want to move there.
Most people on here knew that. Not exactly a secret. Always suited me it did though. Never any issues with another guy in the picture. probably the biggest factor in our relationship being as frictionless as it has been most of the time.
 
Reactions: NSFW and Broxi
Jun 4, 2012
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Broxi said:
At the end of it, you're giving your daughter a fantastic opportunity and experience in life in the she gets to split her time between the US and Scotland.
So guns and bibles mixed with heroin and deep fried mars bars. Not sure it's that great an opportunity to be honest. @mandela should probably be paying his kid as apology money for her dual locations.
 
Reactions: Broxi

mandela

CHB Führer
May 16, 2013
22,406
9,969
Scotland
It is fucked up for her, but it's neither your fault or your responsibility. Let's look at this another way. She knew deep down she was lesbian. You didn't. She either lied about still being on birth control or misspoke and then forgot to do what she said she would do, and allowed herself to get pregnant while you were ignorant of the reality of both her sexuality and her contraceptive situation.

She comes out, you're cool about it. You always provide for your mutual kid that she seemed (if I am being honest) to basically use you for to get...pretty much pre the big surrogacy movement wasn't it? You send £100 a month while she has no child there, which her and her partner can, if they like, use as they wish. Then, she calls up demanding you foot the bill for cosmetic surgery.

If you put it like that, it makes her look to be a total twat. But as you've explained, it's more complex than that, but that means she needs to get some perspective and look at it from outside her own personal emotions. You should not be footing this bill. The NHS might, and if they don't then it's something that her and her partner should look to do together. Joint costs outside of supporting a child only come into play when people are in a relationship, and you haven't been for 16 fucking years.
Aye, that's pretty much it and exactly why i haven't even entertained this in any way whatsoever, man.



Shout out to Strike for the legal advice.
 
Jun 14, 2012
13,327
5,938
Most people on here knew that. Not exactly a secret. Always suited me it did though. Never any issues with another guy in the picture. probably the biggest factor in our relationship being as frictionless as it has been most of the time.
I suppose it has worked out nice for you in the end mate. Still though you shouldn't give her a penny for that surgery.
 
Jul 24, 2012
7,818
7,516
Aye, she gies me fuck all but we have pretty different situations so I wouldn't expect her to, tbh.

And to her credit, regardless of any issues she's ever had, or has with this, she'd never use the wean as leverage. This is just a bizarre thing that has come up and is definitely an outlier here. Like I've said, 99.9% of the time she's cool as fuck, and reasonable, which makes this weirder.
In that case I'd still refuse the money but as diplomatically as I could, tell her you're continuing to support her but you can't justify that kind of cash for surgery when you have you're own bills and life to maintain, hopefully make her see this from the POV of you or your current missus.

If you're flush and feeling super-generous, you can maybe offer to throw a one off contribution in to the pot to help her save but definitely no more than you can comfortable afford to give. I totally get what you mean that her watching the wean when you were both younger allowed you to get your qualifications and set yourself up but it sounds like you've been more than fair all of these years.