Rate The Last Film You Watched

May 16, 2013
5,554
3,780
I watched a quiet place last week;

A Quiet Place

SPOILERS dont read if you haven't seen this movie film

-so anyway this fucking film is about a family of retards who can't stop making fucking noise
-the one and only way to survive is to make as little noise as possible
-so tim from the office decides the best and most efficient way of doing this is by repeatedly banging emily blunt
-and then has the nerve to act surprised when the eventual baby is born and starts, unexpectedly, crying
-who would have fucking thought huh tim?
-anyway so the film begins with tims psycho daughter murdering her little brother
-who shows no remorse whatsoever after ignoring his cries for help
-doesn't even utter a single word of apology
-and spends the rest of the film moping around wondering why her parents hate her
-the premise of the film is that the lack of dialogue adds to a prevalent silence
-that adds tension and forces the average retarded film goer to pay attention to the acting or some shit
-but this is immediately ruined by director deciding to blast out a generic sounding film score
-which signifies to the average pleb watching when you should feel tension or jump ect..
-which destroys the tension of no dialogue and the world being silent
-cos the world doesn't sound very silent to the viewer when hans zimmer is randomly pressing the loud button at every opportunity
-so the interesting premise is undermined by a stupid and unnecessary decision by the director/executives
-the director btw is the same tim from the office who plays the guy who gets to have sex with emily blunt
-so the major act of the film really begins when the psycho little-brother-murdering girl knocks over a lamp
-which makes a lot of noise
-why did this prat have a lamp next to her when the room was adequately lit by other well placed lamps and the studio lights?
-but no this bitch needed a lamp right next to her elbow while she played monopoly
-its a good thing this girl was deaf so she can't hear her parents constantly talking shit about her
-so yeah the world and military and government are wiped out by the monsters of the story
-but a deaf girl manages to outwit these same monsters
-the same girl who nearly wipes out her entire family by not knowing a lamp directly adjacent to her elbow is both a noise and fire hazard
-anyway so at one point emily blunt walks down some stairs
-and stands on an unfortunately placed nail
-just like marv from home alone
-but despite being pregnant and in labour and the last surviving female on earth
-she still doesn't make any noise
-unlike marv who screams like a little bitch
-so at the end of the film the director decides its finally about time to kill off the man
-the only competent human left on earth
-but y'know got to make room for the bloody women
-and 5 minutes after tim dies
-the two girls figure out how to kill the indestructible monsters
-fancy that
-cue happy ending
-dads still dead
-girl still remorseless about killing little brother and causing the death of her dad
-no fucks given
-the only son remaining is stuck with his psycho deaf sister, the memory of his murdered little brother and father, the weight of the apocalypse on his (the only male left on earth) shoulders, and, due to the lack of porn or other human females, his mum being the cause of his very first erection
-yeah i suppose it is a horror film


7.5/10
 
May 17, 2013
20,097
6,350
Reach Knowledge Central
Yeah Shane is a brilliant film.

Anyway I watched Willow last night;

Willow

-so willy is about some midgets that have to go on a quest
-and they meet a mysterious swordsman on the road
-and they're hunted by dark creatures and trolls
-and the main midget is mentored by a wizard
-and there's an evil dark sorcerer who wants what the midget (reluctantly) has
-and there's a cute elf looking girl (not orlando bloom)
-and there's a fire breathing dragon thing near the end
-so yeah this film is basically the lord of the rings/hobbit written by george lucas
-and its quite good
-has good music and is fun
-and there's an entire fucking village of midgets
-its mad they even have town meetings and stuff
-and val killmore is actually passable in it
-and the girl is ridiculously attractive
-and there's these even smaller midgets who are all funny and stuff and have little tiny weapons but they act like little shits
-that's about it really
-oh yeah and there's a talking goat

7/10


I'd pull on her bowstring.
:lol: Brilliant post

I liked Val Kilmer a totally not a Han Solo Rip Off. And The Borrowers guys are not an R2D2/C3PO comedy act...you see where Im going with this

And Warwick Davis is a fine actor. It's a shame that due to his size he wasnt a leading man. I mean it didnt hurt Tom Cruise...

 
Reactions: uraharakisuke
May 16, 2013
4,035
1,299
Not film but punisher season 2

Weak compared to first season which was really good.
Disnt really care about any of the characters or their motives
 
May 16, 2013
4,035
1,299
Infernal affairs
2001 (cantonese)
9/10
Finally got round to watching it (netflix)
This is the movie that The departed is based on
An Undercover cop in HK trying to expose a undercover criminal in the police force
Fantastic movie worth your time.
 
Reactions: BigBone

Football Bat

Piss your pants
Dec 2, 2016
4,949
2,299
Outer Space Man
Yeah Shane is a brilliant film.

Anyway I watched Willow last night;

Willow

-so willy is about some midgets that have to go on a quest
-and they meet a mysterious swordsman on the road
-and they're hunted by dark creatures and trolls
-and the main midget is mentored by a wizard
-and there's an evil dark sorcerer who wants what the midget (reluctantly) has
-and there's a cute elf looking girl (not orlando bloom)
-and there's a fire breathing dragon thing near the end
-so yeah this film is basically the lord of the rings/hobbit written by george lucas
-and its quite good
-has good music and is fun
-and there's an entire fucking village of midgets
-its mad they even have town meetings and stuff
-and val killmore is actually passable in it
-and the girl is ridiculously attractive
-and there's these even smaller midgets who are all funny and stuff and have little tiny weapons but they act like little shits
-that's about it really
-oh yeah and there's a talking goat

7/10


I'd pull on her bowstring.
Willow is a good movie. The Finn Razael morphing scene was the precursor to the effects used for the T1000 in Terminator 2.
 
Reactions: uraharakisuke

BigBone

Sugalowda!
Jun 13, 2012
10,430
1,575
Tycho Station
Cockfighter a.k.a Born to Kill (1974)



"He came into town with his cock in hand, and what he did with it was illegal in 49 states" - says the tagline, or so says legend about it. Either way, despite Roger Corman's best efforts to market a movie about a large dick cockfighting, it was the only film in his B-movie rooster that lost him money, so says the man himself. It is also Warren Oates at his best, and another deep dive into american existentialism by Monte Hellman.

Frank Mansfield is a cockfighter, either by choice or cause he ain't got no other talent whatsoever, and he's either a mute or simply not talking by choice. Either way, Cockfighter creates a rural, small time American shithole with ppl. looking for animal violence so convincingly, it has to be based on reality. Turns out it is, though the type of ppl. in this particular world is not so different than those savages in Wake in Fright (1971), a strange counterpart of the Hellman movie.

Not only Oates is great in his seemingly pointless quest to be cockfighter of the year (I'm not making this shit up), so is Harry Head Stanton as his sorta-supervillain, though Warren's character is mainly cockfighting withing himself, looking to justify his bare existence. It's certainly a thrilling ride, something that also reminded me of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974), perhaps because of Oates. It's quite shocking he left this Earth without a single Oscar nom, though he died far too young. Cockfighter proves his range beyond words or too many expressions, the movie and performance comes RECOMMENDED, just not for animal right activist. @Boogle McDougal
 
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Reactions: Matty lll

DB Cooper

peel me a grape
May 17, 2013
16,603
3,699
Clints new one is something to do with him and the cartel

The Mule

''A 90 yr old horticulturist and ww2 vet is caught transporting 3 mill worth of coke through michigan for a mexican cartel''

Same writer who did Gran Torino with Clint too
Hoping to see The Mule later this week. Loved Gran Torino. Even an 89 year old Clint is worth the admission.
 
Jul 29, 2012
18,429
3,751
Belfast, Ireland
(Pasted from elsewhere, of course I wouldn't bother typing up a review solely for a site where @BigBone seems to be the only film fan worth talking to....)

Today I watched Les Unwanted de Europa (2018).



I loved it, I thought it was a brilliant and fascinating film. A warning of course....it belongs to the sub-species of film known as "slow cinema" and as such will not appeal to everyone (or even to many). As befits slow cinema, there is barely any dialogue and natural sound prevails, the camera lingers for long periods on shots when everything in conventional cinema is screaming that a cut should happen. It can be "boring" at points. However, as also befits (good) slow cinema, what is left is much more interesting than more truly boring conventional films (am I snob or what, who cares...).

In terms of a plot it deals with the journey of the philosoper Walter Benjamin through the Pyrenees in an attempt to escape collaborationist France. However with very little in the way of contextual information it is no biography, rather it is a rumination on the nature of human suffering in the face of (implied) suffering - linked to Benjamin's own philosophy of HIstory of course ; much is implied, hinted at, the audience knows why Benjamin must escape across the mountains, but it is never explicitly said (and if they know what happens to Benjamin later in his life they will also understand the implication of the ending). Fitting with Benjamin's own philosophy the film also considers the nature of time, of History itself and the role of us human beings within that. In 1939 the Catalan republicans were escaping to France, but a year later foreigners, Jews and anti-fascists (including Benjamin) were trying to escape in the opposite direction from France. Of course history is even wider than this. Despite a few shots of Paris and it's great Library, most of the film takes place in the rugged mountain paths; the characters are framed by the immensity of nature, often appearing as small specks, or emerging, rustling out of the bushes. A really great film.

"The universe repeats itself endlessly and fidgets in place." - Blanqui (a French revolutionary quoted obliquely in the film, a connection between past and present).