Tell me the SICKEST joke you know

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Davvers

That's a Davvers promise!!!
May 24, 2013
4,393
1,583
I want this thread to be something posters instinctively know they shouldn't read, but do anyway out of curiosity, then end up vomiting or crying tears of grief to their therapist.

I'll kick things off.

What's pink and covered in cobwebs?
Maddie McCann's bike.

That was a bit funnier a week after she went missing, as opposed to about 10 years.

(The winner to be ascertained by the likes function)
 
May 31, 2012
11,676
5,165
This isn't the most disgusting joke I've heard but it sits in a nice area between being vile yet still being socially acceptable on the right occasion.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies covered in jizz and a Ferrari?

I haven't got a Ferrari in my garage.
 
Jun 5, 2013
11,473
8,873
Oz
A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandfather, "Hey, Grandad, know how old I am today?"

He says, "Come closer..."

He unzips his jeans and reaches his thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

He fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then he says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

He says, "I heard you tell your father
 

Trail

R.I.P. Joe Rein
May 24, 2013
34,622
9,242
Donny
This isn't the most disgusting joke I've heard but it sits in a nice area between being vile yet still being socially acceptable on the right occasion.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies covered in jizz and a Ferrari?

I haven't got a Ferrari in my garage.
Oh Jesus.
 
Reactions: Jim Kelly

thehook13

‪#‎Pray4Khan‬
May 16, 2013
63,269
15,060
A young girl comes home one day and approaches her father, who is sitting in the living room.

"Daddy.....a strange man did something bad to me at the park today."

The father, suddenly very attentive, turns to face his daughter. "Oh god!... okay, sweetie, you need to understand that it absolutely wasn't your fault, and you will not get in trouble for telling me about it. Can you explain what happened?"

"Well," the girl begins, "I was playing in the sand, when the man came up to me and told me to come with him behind a tree."

"Oh....," mutters the father. "Then what?"

"Then he pulled down his pants and showed me his thing."

"Oh, god!" the father exclaims. "What happened next?"

"Then," the girl continues, "he pulled up my dress and touched me on my underwear."

"Oh, god no!" shouts the father. "Sweetie.....what happened after that?"

The girl answers with a shrug. "Nothing. That was it."

"Well, make something up! I haven't finished yet!"